GPS: Gauged Proximity of Soul Searching

When we venture to new locales and destinations, we often rely on apps like Waze or Google Maps. We rely on a pre-determined and calculated route—on a path that’s been set for us.

As humans, we gravitate towards the comfort we established with certain people. We often hinder ourselves from exploring and discovering new things. We cling to the familiarity that we have become accustomed to, thus, becoming fearful of stepping out of that circle of trust that has been drawn.

This doesn’t automatically mean we avoid new connections, this just simply means that fear of the unknown consumes us to the point of being stagnant.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝗽𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘀

We often associate love and journey with one another. Like a trail on a hike, a trail that then branches out towards different directions. It becomes your choice which path to take. The path of familiarity over the uncharted path becomes the rational choice—because you know this path, you know the way, as if your footprints have been etched into the surface as evidence of your existence.

Going off the trails can mean unprecedented phenomena, obstacles, and even immense pain. The journey on the trail can be confusing, derailing you from the predictable, established path because it gives you the option to see what else may lie ahead. The notion of discovering something new, shrouds the rationality in our decisions and we set our hearts on a path that will face various terranes–with the difficulty of finding the way back.

When in doubt, with even the needle point of your compass not providing an answer, how do you choose which path to take? As the signs on the trail begin to confuse you, you look over your shoulder and you remember that you don’t have to face the dangers alone…

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁

The terrain of uncertainty is much more terrifying without someone to accompany you along the way. We map out our lives with a concrete plan and route, but as things go unparalleled, we’re thrusted into a whole new adventure. As we venture into our voyage, we always have a “navigator” in the next seat. Your navigator is supposed to be the one who tells you which turn to take, which intersection to cross, which exit you should turn to, they become your guide on this journey.

The navigator was always the same person, but occasionally, someone else fills that role; someone else becomes the co-pilot.

But it wasn’t just anyone you met on the road. You’ve built connections with these people, developed chemistry with them. As stated by the Association of Psychological Science (APS), “Chemistry emerges from interactions rather than from the attributes, expectations, or biases of the involved partners.”

Yet for some reason, you fail to let go of your attachment to the old one – not because the new connections don’t excite you, but the sense of familiarity is what made the adventure worthwhile in the first place. This is someone you needn’t hide from; this is someone who doesn’t dim the light in you. They don’t stop being your person. No matter how many people fill that seat, familiarity, proximity, and shared history matter more than we sometimes admit.

Suddenly, it stops becoming about the adventure, but who you have the adventure with. The gravitas and excitement of the journey heighten because you’re experiencing it with someone who has become your safe place. The proximity principle in social psychology demonstrates that physical or repeated exposure significantly increases the likelihood of relationship formation.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽

The gas has been shut, the ignition killed, the head lights off, and you sit on the hood of the car, looking towards the horizon then to your side and smile. The one you chose again and again, the person you stuck to no matter how many people passed by.

Early attraction often feels intense because uncertainty keeps your stress system slightly activated. Over time, however, stable attachment shifts the chemistry. “Oxytocin” sometimes called the bonding hormone — is released during trust-building and closeness, promoting calmness and security, this is where stress levels decrease. The quiet, tranquility you feel with this person trumps all the wild, adrenaline-inducing shenanigans that you would have encountered had it been with someone else.

Sometimes, the adventure happens when you head into it with someone who you know knows you – someone you don’t have to hide from. You feel free to show all the sides of yourself that've been tucked away in the dark attic of your mind.

The destination doesn’t matter when the journey is spent with that one person who chases the storm clouds away from the sunny sky. The destination is still the goal of the journey, but as you travel through sunny skies or gloomy clouds, having your person at your side was all that mattered. Through all the good and the bad, the familiarity eases the anxiety and fear within.

𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝗮𝗱

At the end of every journey, we look back on all the things we experienced and discovered.

Every pit stop, every diner, every gas station, every person you met, and welcomed to lead you to your destination, and every time you came back to the person you knew the most. It scares you how attached you are to this person, not until you realize that every moment on the road had them etched into your journey. From the music on the radio to the scenic routes along the way.

The realization that despite all the connections you made, every turn lead straight back to the first person you trusted with your vulnerability. The first person who saw you, the first person who appreciated you. The first person who sees your flaws and loves you regardless.

Looking back on how you ended up where you are, you appreciate every wrong turn, every missed exit, every flat tire, because it added layers to your journey—made it more memorable and enjoyable to reminisce on. At every point of your adventure a part of yourself was unearthed, and unknowingly, it became an integral part of your journey.

But no matter how long the journey was, you realize one thing; the great thing about love… is how it always finds its way back home.