love, actually, is seven

Love—oh—love, the great mystery of life! It has inspired poets, sent soldiers to war, and fueled countless teleseryes and Hollywood blockbusters. From fleeting crushes to lifelong partnerships, love takes on many forms, but true love—real, unshakable, and enduring love—stands firm against time and trials. As Shakespeare put it in his 116^th Sonnet, love is “an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.”

But what makes love last? Psychologist Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love suggests that love isn’t just about butterflies in your stomach or slow-motion hugs in the rain. Instead, it comes in seven different flavors, depending on how much intimacy, passion, and commitment are sprinkled into the mix. Whether it bends with time or stands strong against it, love remains the most powerful force that shapes our lives and the world around us.

Liking (Intimacy Alone): The BFF Goals

Ever had that one friend who truly understands you, supports you, and shares your secrets? You roast each other, discover new cafes together, and somehow always finish each other’s sentences. That’s liking, a love built purely on intimacy aka platonic love. No “girl bestfriend and boy bestfriend” drama here, just a solid emotional connection between two people who share closeness with zero romantic attraction or commitment. It is the kind of bond that Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff have—deeply connected, creatively in sync, but never crossing that romantic line. 

Infatuation (Passion Alone): Love at First Sight?

Imagine this: You lock eyes across the room. The tension is electric. Sparks fly. Your heart races. And then… poof, nothing. No deep talks, no plans for future—just raw, burning passion that often dies off quickly. It is intense, addictive, and exciting, kind of like having a crush that makes you blush and giggle like so high school. But let’s be real: it’s also fleeting. No deep emotional connection, no long-term commitment—just vibes. It is the classic whirlwind romance, much like Pete Davidson’s ever-changing relationships or your three-week ka-situationship—passionate, exciting, and over before you can even say closure. A little friendly advice? No hard lunch unless it’s 100% sure.

Empty Love (Commitment Alone): Staying Just Because

This is love on autopilot—just cruising, no excitement, no pit stops for passion. The spark? Long gone. The emotional connection? Hanging by a thread. What’s left? Two people holding on, not because they want to, but because they’ve just…been around too long. This empty love exists when a relationship remains intact due to obligation rather than emotional connection or passion. It is seen in. This can happen in relationships like open marriages, arranged marriages, long-term relationships that have lost their emotional and physical connection, or couples staying together out of obligation rather than desire. Some celebrity marriages are business partnerships rather than romantic unions, but behind the scenes—zero magic. Just a contract with a wedding ring.

Romantic Love (Intimacy + Passion, No Commitment) – The Almosts

Oh, the heartache of “almost” relationships! Some love stories are full of passion and connection, yet somehow never makes it to forever. This love is built on emotional connection and physical attraction but lacks a long-term plan or responsibility. This is the early stage of many relationships, filled with deep conversations lasting late nights, affectionate gestures next to public display, and undeniable chemistry as if made for each other. Think of James Reid and Nadine Lustre, whose romance was the perfect blend of emotional depth and fiery passion, yet ultimately, their love story wasn’t meant for the long haul. 

Companionate Love (Intimacy + Commitment, No Passion) – Love That Feels Like Home

This is the “as long as we’re together, we’re good” kind of love. The fire may have dimmed, but the warmth remains. This is the deep, unshakeable connection between partners that lasts through time, even as passion wanes—because not all love is romantic, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less real (or forever). Think of those adorable old couples who’ve seen it all, from their first date to their hundredth inside joke, held together by shared memories and unbreakable trust. This love tells us that you don’t need grand declarations of love to have a strong, steady bond. Indeed, ‘til death do us part.

Fatuous Love (Passion + Commitment, No Intimacy) – The Rush Jobs

Some couples dive headfirst into love, this is the kind of love that screams, "Let’s do this!" before anyone asks, "Do we even know each other?" This type of love is fast-moving and intense, often leading to impulsive decisions like quick marriages without truly knowing each other on a deeper emotional level. Sound familiar? Many Pinoy Big Brother love teams go through this. They look so in love inside bahay ni kuya, but once the cameras stop rolling, reality checks in—big time. Without a solid emotional foundation, that fiery passion can fizzle out faster than you can say “nominate ko siya kasi hindi siya naglilinis”. While intense at first, this love can struggle if intimacy is not nurtured over time. Afterall, Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries’ 72-day marriage sets an example. 

Consummate Love (Intimacy + Passion + Commitment) – The Standard

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the ultimate “sana all” love story. This is the love we all secretly (or not-so-secretly) dream of—a relationship that is emotionally fulfilling, physically satisfying, and built to last. Sternberg’s ideal form of love, consummate love, combines intimacy, passion, and commitment. #CoupleGoals Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds embody this with their playful banter, deep friendship, and unwavering support for each other. Closer to home, Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes’ love story epitomize this type of love from kilig and emotional depth to clear commitment to the future and building a family together. While achieving this love is challenging, those who do often enjoy deeply rewarding and enduring relationships.

Love isn’t just one-size-fits-all. Sometimes, it’s a fleeting summer romance; other times, it’s a love that lasts a lifetime. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love reminds us that love takes many forms, and no two relationships are alike. Recognizing the different types of love can help us navigate our relationships with greater clarity. Whether you’re in a slow-burn love story, a whirlwind passion, or a deep, steady companionship, one thing is for sure—love continues to shape our lives in beautiful and unpredictable ways.

So, tell me, which type of love have you experienced? Or better yet, which one are you still searching for?